Turkey Day Comes Again

Holidays tend to be road markers that help us think about where we have been, and perhaps where we are going.  During Thanksgiving we look for those familiar signs that comfort us by connecting us to the past.  Dig our the dishes, rarely used except for a crowd.  Dig out the recipes, also rarely used, except for a crowd.  Put out the turkey salt and pepper shakers, and pick up some turkey napkins Make all the mental notes for shopping and planning and also make those hard copy notes to help you remember all the details you need. (I once forgot to serve stuffing...left inside the bird until the meal was done)...not a tragedy by any means to have to eat all the leftover stuffing ourselves. I like to bring out the tried and true recipes, yes I always want to try a little something new as well. How has time changed the faces around the table?  Who is no longer with us but lives on in our memories?...any new additions to the family//....who is getting bigger and more grown up....who is showing that they are getting older and older?...who has changed...who has stayed the same for better or worse?  So much to do to make the feast, but eaten so fast...I really like Thanksgiving....it doesn't have all the complications that Christmas has...the shopping the wrapping, the get togethers, more of them than you really want to go to. Rush...Rush...Rush...Thanksgiving is so nice because there are several days following it to wind down, and eat leftovers. Gotta go...more to do to get ready.

Life's Interventions.....

So...Life has a wave of creating unexpected forks in the road that were not part of my life script.....my posts were put on hold after my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 Melanoma...We experienced biopsies, surgeries, Interferon treatment, serious side effects involving a hospital stay, two  new probably related health issues, appointments and treatment for those, slow recovery from the effects of Interferon...news that the situation is stable for now...but with high risk of recurrence...planning a trip, spending much time at our Cabin in Maine, cancelation of said trip due to broken leg (mine), daughter moving back home after completing Master's Degree, health issue of our 16 or 17 year old dog....well, those are the biggies, I think.....as a result, I just did not feel like writing...I didn't know what to say, or was I afraid to put into words much of what I was thinking and feeling. The urge to write is staring to return...so I think it's time.....So I will just begin with my explanation of my hiatus...and statement of wanting to get started again.....

Dogs' Memories....etc

Sometimes I wonder what memories are stored in my dog's head.  Obviously there are some...for example...she gets excited when we pick up her leash ...or when we take her down to the dock for a boat ride...but there has to be a trigger for her to seem to recall something.  Can she bring up past memories at will? Does she remember living on the streets of Puerto Rico? Does she recall that she had a litter of puppies there? Animals can remember people after long absences...would a dog remember puppies that are all grown up, after not having seen them for years.  If so, would it be a scent thing?  Apparently parrots name their offspring according to parrot experts.  Elephants mourn over a lost herd member. So there's much more to the world of animals that we sometimes think.  For humans recalling can be glorious thing....or a relived trauma of horrid experiences. For example, I can picture vignettes of trips I took many years ago and enjoy this reverie....being at a watering hole in Africa, going over volcanic regions in Hawaii.  I can think back to yummy foods I've eaten- gelatto caramel with a hint of seasalt, or out of the garden corn, and I know my mouth waters by what my mind's eye is experiencing. Virtual experience, it is.  I can also remember the death of JFK, the morning of  9/11, particularly cruel things said or done to me. The humdrum parts of life just appear as vague happenings, but out of clear focus, and all rather blended together.  I know there is an emotional component to learning and memory. Do these more vivid memories serve to make us yearn and move toward or away from situations we can experience in the future? Sometimes yes, but sometimes no.  Think of how many people recreate and relive the trauma of early experiences by doing things that will certainly lead to those negative experiences....selecting an abusive spouse for example?  Does our brain get wired for the familiar? How can we undo this wiring....conditioning? therapy? Many of life's lessons and belief systems  are formulated  in the earliest years. Yet, because of nature/nurture some people survive seriously traumatic childhoods and do seemingly fine , while other are crushed by them and  just can't seem to get off the track that leads right back to what they should want to escape from.  I think a good form of self-therapy is to bring up pleasant recollections and bask in them.. They say if you smile, you physiologically feel better.  I bet if you bring forth pleasant memories you are doing something physiologically as well.  During meditation you are supposed to empty your mind. But I like my approach better. I guess the lesson is not to dwell on the negative for long unless you are coming up with strategies to make the future better. Dig up those fun, happy, pleasant memories and relive them again and again. There, Sigmund,....How did I do?

True to Form....but...

Most sentences explaining something about yourself that have the word "but" in them are really veiled, or not so veiled excuses or rationalizations. So look at my title again.  BUT, there are some valid excuses, which in that case they aren't really excuses, they are explanations. I have not written for quite some time, BUT I did not feel like writing....or didn't want to put in black and white most of what I have been thinking....serious illness reared its ugly head just about the time of my last post...it isn't over, it hasn't gone away, but it is a work in progress, hopefully a recovery in process.  Unfortunately, we won't know that unless or until the other shoe falls. Negative will be a sign of positive. How's that for a riddle for someone to have to solve. I don't need to go into detail because my close friends and family and others somewhat in my life know what there is to know at this point.  Roles have changed, plans have changed, yes, life has changed. No one goes through this life without some (or a lot) of these inconvenient (that's a euphemism, of course) events. So I don't say, Why me? Why us? Just open your eyes and you will see that this is life....sometimes superb....a lot of the time...just ho hum, and now and then.... yikes ! Many people have walked in these shoes, but each time someone does it's never really the same. We are walking along a road that others have walked and they have left behind bits of information, small discoveries, subtle options, faint clues, that give hope so that those of us who are following that road  now can benefit from a journey that may not have ended at the destination earliers hoped for. If our road reaches the destination we want, we shall be very blessed.  If not, the fragments we leave along the way will help guide those who follow us, as there will be others. Oh...I think I see something ahead....it's a sign saying "Hope.....this way." I will follow it. Is it a mirage or is it real....I cannot say.

How I know when I am really sick

I cannot explain it. There must be some physiological reason for it. Maybe someone can explain it to me. When I get really sick with a heavy cold, or bronchitis, or a nasty sinus infection, I not only lose my taste for coffee, I am repulsed by it. Recently (as you may realize from the lengthy interval since my last blog entry) I had sinusitis. I am still not 100%, but I know I am on the mend.  I can stand coffee again. There was about a 5 day period when the thought of it was revolting. I wasn't terrible hungry anyhow, but when told to drink plenty of fluids, one of those fluids just couldn't be coffee...yes, tea, herbal tea, water, juice, but no coffee. It would have been torture. These mysteries in life, with no seeming explanation.  If anyone has a scientific reason for coffee aversion during illness, I'd love to hear it.

Masterpiece Theater.....Masterful!

I love the music that begins Masterpiece Theater.  It seems to announce the arrival of something regal....and it often does just that. Recently I started watching it on Sunday evenings. It is starting to become a weekly ritual. The good news is that if I miss an episode, I can later watch it online, so no break in the mini-series that may only have 3 or 4 episodes.  The writing is superb, the storylines captivating....they almost each seem to be worthy of an Oscar type award.   When I consider a lot junk that's on tv, it's nice to know there is something like Masterpiece Theater....PBS have been threatened with elimination of federal funding....what a loss that would be. With all them money people spend on hundreds of garbage  cable and dish channels, it's amazing more donors don't give to Public Television and Radio...shouldn't we aspire to greater quality in all things including tv. Not if we rely on sponsors like beer companies and soft drink companies, or sugary cereal companies.  I guess if you think about what those companies are peddling, it may explain the shows they sponsor.

Meyer Lemons and Greek Yogurt

One of the beauties of living in the 21st Century is the availability of  foods.  I don't mean the types conconcted at some food lab in New Jersey, but foods from other areas of the country and the world....If a recipe calls for Meyers Lemon...no problem if you live in a fairly populated area and have literally dozens of grocery stores available within a ten mile radius. No more having to go to Greece for Greek Yogurt....it's now prolific on store shelves. I remember having a new student arriving from Russia many years ago to find that there were literally dozens of types of ice cream.  She had only heard of vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. (No Bubblegum flavor there!) In the United States we have the luxury of being able to find endless quantities  and varieties of food from both near and far.  There was a time years ago when many food were only available during a very short season. Now with advanced transportation, freezers and such, those days have gone by. Do you know I can actually remember the first time I ever tasted pizza ? I was about 7 years old and it was offered to me at a friend's house.  It seemed like an exotic offering...I am sure most kids taste pizza shortly after their teeth start coming in.  Oh the varieties of restaurants we now have...Thai, Indian, Somalian, Vietnamese...the list goes on...no doubt influenced by the influx of immigrants..We get bored with foods and want endless variety...pages of offerings on menus. Cookbooks galore, right down to highly specific ones such as 25 Tasty Turnip Recipes. (just kidding). Now with online recipe sources, one could cook chicken in a ne way 365 days a year and never repeat...I remeber as a child being taken to a bakery in Chelsea to watch real bagels being made. They were not widely available outside of Jewish neighborhoods.Now they are as mainstream as apple pie. Maybe with all the foods we now have at our fingertips, we should go back to saying Grace for this bounty...whether to your God, or Goddess, or Mother Earth, or Human Enterprise...but just stop and give it a thought now and then...especially in a world where malnutrition and starvation still exist...out of our view.